Here are the seams. In this photograph
My blue eyes are red and how about
The fact we keep calling this the truth?
If I was in charge, I'd quit out of love
For you so it could stay exactly like this,
Worshipping accidental flaws onstage.
Acid and mitochondria inside a blur.
Do you believe I'm saying this? Or
Could? If I want to last I'll have to start
Getting used to the idea of your judgment
Being unerring when it comes to me.
I play it straight and then improvise
Around the obstacles. The dramaturgy
Is vague, but it was always vague.
I was never sure what was happening,
So cut me slack in my suit as I try
To entertain you with my humungous
Wisecracks. Get the picture? I sport
Rented gloves and will do anything
But retract. Apologize? This is my act.
Listen to the fact that no one is here
Breathing. Except for you, breathing.
Someone breathing means they care
More about something than themselves.
Although not breathing doesn't mean
That someone doesn't care. Sounds
Of breathing more resemble sounds
Of making things, the sounds of not
Having any choice in the matter of
Being made. Breathing as a function
Of wanting to be somewhere else.
Dissatisfaction. The sound of being
Satisfied but not necessarily relieved.
The sound of breathing some bad air.
Breathing as an act of protest. Listen
To sounds of breathing as if they were
Sounds of protest. Listen to sounds
Of breathing as if listening were the
Actual breathing. Breathing something
Other than air as if it were air. Listen
To sounds of listening as if listening
Were breathing something other than
Air. As if sounds of breathing did not
Betray someone listening. As if there
Were no voice behind the sounds of
Breathing. No one thinking about
Next breathing. Listen as if someone
Were not here breathing but speaking.
As if no one could hear that someone
Is breathing and so know that they are
Thinking. And also protesting against
Thinking. Sounds of someone holding
Their breath for as long as they can
And then releasing. Breathing no air
Except what is available for listening.
Listen to the sounds of a voice that is
First breathing and then not breathing.
Sounds of breathing as last breathing.
Listen to last breathing as if it were
What it is, which is thinking and then
Breathing. Listening as first breathing.